deep down

there was a girl...walking in the darkness...searching for light...all she saw was the reflection of the sun through the moon...through the forest leaves....through the puddle mud...
not realizing where her daze led her to,she fell into a ground well....those kinda wells arent surrounded by walls...they r nasty....they r creepy...they hold such a darkness...that even sent chills down the local villagers...no1 went to that well...not even the most learned and educated...
and yes...she fell into that blessed well..not knowing the consequences of her faulty action...
at first...she was unconscious....and then...she awoke...the the blinding darkness she alwayz wanted to avoid..like that was her only mission in life...and now..she was stuck there.....

she cried for help...yelled a bit...cursed a bit too...
"god damn!!! why doesnt any 1 come to help me????"

and then...it was dawn..and by some crazy miracle...3 tribal women came and look down...and in shock ...they saw the girl....she begged them to let her up...and for a moment...once the left for a while..she thought she was saved....and then...to her shock...they placed a stone lid onto the well...
surrounding her...was nly the darkness she tried to push away for all her life....

god knows for how many days..she was in that well...the water she drank was the same water she gave out....she felt sick from inside out...
she felt lost..lonely...and confused....
"if only...there was some1 to get me out of this darkness"
those were the last words she said before she died.....
if only...there was som1 to get me out of this darkness.......

to the moon and back...

there was a girl...who like any other girl..loved to dream..and wanted to make a diffrence in the world...she packed her bags..and without telling anyone from her place...she took off...and went to the nearest bus stand from where buses took off to distant lands...there were many people around her...who like her too..had a dream..or who were sucessful in persuing a dream and now their life had no more meaning...in short...every1 who stood near her were in need of an adventure which wud change their life forever...or at least momentarily...
the bus blew its first horn..it was time to go.
the bus driver was a wierd man..every1 said...as when a passenger asked amiably,which route the bus will take...all the bus driver said was"we r going to follow the moon,whose light and guidance will lead us along the path of our destination."
and thats what they did the whole night,they followed the moon...heading from darkness to light,from ignorance of the past,2 persue a better brighter future,yet trapped in the solitude of d present.

the bus was crossing a bridge and from the window,the girl saw a 40 watt bulb light hanging from a small single boat alone in the vast black sea...she thot how similar her life is to that lonely boat,whose purpose was also to seek an absolution from the solitude,seeking for that other lighted boat across the dark sea...but cudnt find any...
"if only i cud see...if only i cud find...",thot the girl....
and just as if the man sitting next to her read her mind,said,"you dont always need to search for your soul in some 1 else, you knw, my friend,lonliness is just a state of mind,my friend...its us who can get rid of that feeling or let it take over majority of our thoughts...your own arms shud keep u warm on cold and lonely nights.im not saying man can live to b a lonely soul...and thats why god made friends...who can turn out to b our only saving grace...that lonely boat u see there,isnt actually lonely u knw...that light emitted from it shows that the persons heart is full of hope and faith..and 1 day...if its in his destiny,he will find his other boat...however...even if he doesnt...he shudnt lament on the fact..and shud carry on wit his life...and looking at a fisher mans lonely life..im sure he wont have any problem.."
he said a lot more things...sometimes deviating from the topic of discussion,he forced upon her...however..what she did remember was a statement he made towards the end ....
"my child,god made us all alone...only to seek a purpose...our other half...some of us are lucky to find purpose sooner than others.the others...will face a tough path...yet when they find what they truely were searching for...the fruits to their toil are more satisfying...more contenting...so my dear child...seek your purpose..and god bless you...for i pray for ur goodness and life...."

zongs from z heart...

if my heart had a song...it wud b a sad love song,
a song about broken friendship..a song about love not found...a song of love lost...
a song about betreyal and solitude....
if my heart could sum up a strong beat...it wud tell a story about loss and pain...
if only my heart was made of stone...2 endure all hardship and heartless glares....
if only i dint have this weak heart of mine....beating feebly...our sad little love song....

twirly whirly!!!

sometimes,i like spinning around.the dizziness enchants me...flashing lights that grip me...twirling around...tickling me...i wish i cud b on a carosel....round and round,round and round.gripping me into an unknown world of mine,a world which i never knew existed...if only i could twirl around like i did as a child...
the mulicolored daze facinates me...its strange how clear my life seems in the uncertainity and unclarity during the spinning...maybe thats why some sufi singers twirl alot while the sing to god...for me..its 1 of those kicks i dont need wit alcohol...for me ..its like another tumbling down a mountain.. (love doin that!)
besides...its a pretty good thing to do to reduce ur bordom... :P :P try it..and leme know how u feel and what u saw....

MISS understood

lol...quite contrary to my usual day dreaming in class...this time..i wrote a small piece of my mind... here goes...(its better than snoozing off in orthodontics..trust me :P :P )
i rather be misunderstood than to b completely understood...atleast people wont hurt me with the treacherous truth...coz a lie against me wont hurt as much...if only i was misunderstood...that wud b my shell...my visage to tis cruel world...my sanctuary.....

happiness and contentment

today....i opened my eyes and woke up in a completely different surrounding...even though this surroundin was my home in bombay.... a strange alienating emotion swept ova me...like i dint belong here..or the purpose of my existance in this place is still yet not to b attained...

though...little guilty pleasures like eating macdonalds again....watchin movies on widescreen multiplexes..havin a little of social life...totally enthralls me no doubt!

its diwali...and the streets have been lighted up along wit color.people seem so happy...even when their shops are open during the holiday session....people seem like they r happy being who they are...and where they are....and for the 1st time...i realized...that i COULD be happy too u know...

let me tell u what happened to me the other day in manipal... :)
ok...i must have ranted on before on how much i hate that place and want any oportunity to get out....
well...i was on my friends scooty sitting at the back seat and i was listening to my ipod...and it began to drizzle....and i let my hands loose in the air..wit raindrops trickling down my skin...and the wind in my hair...i felt that it was the most exhilarating moment of my life...I was happy....

yesterday i felt somwhere close to that seeing all the beautiful lights and buildings....though i wished my special friend was there wit me that time....and i let him know of it too :)

im leaving bombay in 2 days...yet i guess i would never leave or forget the lesson i learnt from looking at lights.... live for the moment..coz u may never know when the oil or the source of ur light could go away...and all that wud b left...wud b darkness....

and all that was left...was blood....

A lions heart...Ladies fingers and An eagles eye is what is needed to be a good surgeon....thats what i heard in the beginning of my oral surgery posting...but the depth of those words is what i understood today....
i conducted my first extraction today....and all i saw was blood...pain...and more blood...my proffesor said i did a good job...but did i?
its strange..really...how to prevent a particular pain to increase we inflict another kind of pain...
now...is this applicable only in dentistry or in our personal lives too??
in some people...they inflict their pain..or sadness on other people...its known as the displacement theory....normally seen in children..or young adults...
and in some people... pain is more self inflicting....
but can u tell me 1 thing...i hardly knew the man whos extraction i did today...then why..for the first time of my life...did i feel his pain...????

why did it feel like the blood i see is my own...why did it feel that i need to breathe..to get some fresh air!! ....
i really need to breathe....for once...i want my lungs to get some fresh air.....for somtimes...i feel suffocated....and sometimes...i dont even know why....
one of my dreams in life was to become som1 who could just help people to let their pain go away....and right now....what i see...is someting far much worse.....