Sunday, December 16, 2012

Holding on and letting go

The world makes a whole spin in 24 hours. In this fast paced life, stopping isn't always an option.  Lives are made, lives are shattered daily too.  In some rare occasions, both happen on the same day. The impermanence of the moment is heavily stressed upon here.  Every moment is precious, every second is vital. If everything from our pacing heart to speeding metros are constantly variable, how can holding on be an option?

What happens if we try to hold on tightly whether iT is a person or an object or  an addiction? Imagine a bird has perched on your hand. You don't want it to go away so you hold on to that fragile being even more tightly. So tight that one moment she's alive and chirpy and the next moment, the life is sucked out of her.  What seemed beautiful at first only ended in misery and guilt. Sometimes it's not the other persons life which is at stake, it's our own. We become self destructive. Typically seen in cases of addiction.

I once wrote my name in the sand on the beach. It was washed away instantly. I wrote it again over its hazed predecessor. The waves washed it off again. I got so angry, I wrote my name again and again  over the same spot till I looked more closely at my botched name. It was even more distorted and messed up than what It was the first time when I wrote it.  I realized, we try to etch our permanency in people's life be trying to reinforce the importance of our presence. Though we think we are doing the right thing, we not only distort our image, we also botch our importance just like that botched name in the sand.

I once read that people who are willing to be a part of your change are the people you can expect to be the constant variable in your life. The rest, are just a part of a story in your journey.

A perfect act of love is sacrifice. It is the art to have the strength to hold on and have a greater inner power to let go. I wrote a post about how memories fade. It's true and I'm not gonna contradict myself. Though people tend to confuse it with love. It's true to a certain extent because if the memory doesn't remain, the reason to love doesn't last. People claim that love fades. It's doesnt really .

Love doesn't fade, it evolves.

Ask two people who ended a relationship amicably, their love is converted to mutual care and understanding. If they were close enough in their relationship, their connectivity lasts beyond the termination of the relationship.

Ask two people who ended a relationship abruptly and before time. One is filled with pain, longing and hope. For the other,Love is replaced with  a blend of guilt and indifference.

Time heals all wounds. The hope goes away. The longing also goes away even though it takes a while. Though I realized that the pain really doesn't . It takes a chronic form. It doesn't die, it's suppressed, like a painful keloid. It's there, you may never see it, since people are experts at saying " they are fine" . It's so subtle, that sometimes even we don't know it's there. It's so subtle that we don't even realize when it had the power to change who we were. Like a scar, we are conscious of its presence, so we engage ourselves in daily  mundane human activities to distract ourselves. Though somewhere down the line we also wonder how we don't take risks as gregariously as we used to before, or how we used to be more free.

The pain doesn't go, but I promise it gets easier... Once you start letting go. Or at least try to.

Nicole sobon  once wrote," the hardest part isn't letting go, but is to start over"

It is. It truly is, but it also makes us one step closer to strength,One step closer to the truth and one step closer to you


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